Memoirs of a petite missy

Some years ago I had seen the beginning part of the movie friends with benefit, I wanted to watch the movie but the timing was off. It had Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis as main characters, more reason I enlisted it as a must watch I could have as well downloaded the movie to satisfy my curiosity but somehow I didn’t and so yesterday I finally watched the movie. 

Sometimes life is tiring. Bucket lists refusing somehow to be ticked off, well don’t loose hope it took me 4years to watch friends for benefit and I’m totally fine with it. It probably loooks too small a defeat to be noticed but guess what, it finally happened. This definitely gave me hope that some day my aspirations would breath life.

No matter how much discouraged you feel, do not stay too long in that emotion as there are still victories to be won and bucket lists to be outdated, which is only possible by you alone.

Challenge your self, get out there often and do not to wallow in self pity my friend, no matter how enticing it looks.

Yours sincerely.

#equality
The rising talk of equal rights does not dwindle it is on its endless journey knowing fully well that women were once girls. We actually can’t outgrow that persona either because we are still one at heart or we know one.

To buttress my point I’d give you an instance.

Years back while in primary school, a female teacher had called me out because my uniform was short. Her exact words to me were ‘who do you want to seduce for putting on such uniform to school’ and if I ever came to school in those, I’d see what she had do to me. If she meant flog me, punish me or better still send me home. I can not tell as all I know was the next time I came to school was in a new pair of uniform.

This kind of statements are made everyday to a growing girl child some where.
Sometimes motives with shallow intent are muffled in misconceptions of how women are to guide themselves in a godly manner, therefore losing the real essence of purposeful living.
We’re somewhat made to understand we owe our selves to the male gender. We’re told to safeguard their feelings so we do not arouse premature feelings. We’re told to be morally updated so no one is stared in the wrong direction.
Unequal list are made for women both by themselves and by all sundry without in turn calling out men to order. We should stop partial shadiness. People will never be comfortable with our dressing, is still in line with people will never be fine with our decisions and actions. Even if we feel good and we think we look good, it’s as if there’s something raunchy with our dressing. We are somewhat made to understand that our success lies in between the success of men.
Someone once told me the external being is a reflection of the inner being but I do know also that to judge a book by it’s cover is too misled oneself and there’s need for line to be drawn somewhere.

It is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie who said;

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller, you can have ambition but not to much, you should aim to be successful but not to successful otherwise you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage, am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important that marriage can be a success of joys, love and major support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage? And not teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments which I think can be a good thing but for the attention of men.
Because we look a certain way, should we be walked over? We all have masks from different places and we show different ones to different people.
We’re not sorry, our face sends messages and you’re picking up wrong vibes.

Cheers.

I’ve always believed true confidence is built over time from chasing your passion and discovering yourself to live purposely. As then onwards you’ll learn to be comfortable in your skin.

This was the notion I’d when I became a chorister. Even though singing doesn’t come easily to me, I still wanted to immerse myself in it as a blank slate. I knew onwards my flaws would be outlined in front of me at all times and I would have to work my way around not to focus on it. But what I didn’t sign up for was to be frequently talked down on not once but twice. I’ve heard rudely from this person reasons why I should’nt stand at the front while presenting as a group. Personally I’m fine with wherever I stand as women of esteem do not chase empty wind in living purposefully but to subconsciously pull me down because you think I’m not good enough is dampening.

You see Messages can be passed without bone of contention so I find it unnecessarily hostile to talk back, revenge, retaliate, plot or scheme against one but this has been lingering for long and somehow this person has turned the tables around that I feel guilty holding on to this rebuke. That each time, I was an obedient lamb who felt scorned later.

I’m angry at myself. Reason being why I’ll tell another fellow to approach this oppressor to open up or talk back as it would pass a message not to be taken for granted. I cannot do that for myself.

I simply walk away, tucked with bottled emotions seeking freedom and that my friend is my blocked wall.

Yours sincerely.

I’d really love to hear what passion of yours you are chasing but keep encountering blocked walls.

How I never lived for myself, I wanted people to be impressed with me even though I knew not them and they knew not me in a way he alone knows.

He would tell me I gave you one live with a free will, I wanted you to take cognisance of others, take heed to what you heard but not to heart and take caution not to live their wills.

I don’t think he would say why didn’t you take that will to live on your on terms and be happy soaring like an eagle? Because he knew, that I understand, what it means to impress and stiffle myself. Because  I knew somehow where I’d wrong myself in not finding genuine happiness and joy in my quiet battles.

He said to me I filled you with life that I wanted you to wear each day the armour of faith and love. Bearing in mind, the hope of salvation but you took half of it, the other half empty, you threw away.

You wanted to listen to people’s voices, you drowned mine and didn’t listen to your own voice!

How would you learn, I wondered to myself. No risks? No scare? Nothing…you wanted shield!

Yours sincerely.

A Caucasian recently struck up a conversation with me, using a Mongolian name. Mind you, he’s not the average ‘foreigner you know’. He’s well dressed with slick permed hair.
So there’s nothing for you to malign him with his impudent personality (which means not all dressed men can carry out a formidable conversation, you’re forewarned)

I knew him from no where. More of the reasons, he would go down the drain in no matter of time. He didn’t know the ethics of conversation. He was garnering listeners for what he thought he knew.
Very daft of him, parading with a phoney tale. Very cheap lad (They never stop amazing me).
He sure is one of my ignorant Biafran brothers who miss road. Psychos prowling every where.

This was extracted from our conversation. We both go by Nuna (him) and Fura (myself)
Which has been edited not to bore you. I did try.

Nuna: What ethical group do you belong in Nigeria

Fura: Igbo…seems you’re conversant with Nigeria
Nuna: Am not conversant to that zoo country z just that my father z only a friend to one Mr Nadia Kanu in Nigeria

Nuna: You called my country a zoo. That is insulting…and your father being a friend to him is correlative ‘they are both friends to each other’ not your father showing him favor

Nuna: Nothing just prefer to use a different name to locate a female Nigeria who ran away with my 10 dollar
Fura: Nigeria is not a zoo…so apologise for that
Secondly Facebook is large and so is Nigeria….Have a bigger heart and let go because you won’t be finding her anytime soon.

Nuna: don’t think like that….. But calling your country a zoo z a good name for that

Fura: you have to apologise for that.

Nuna: I will apologize but first of all you have to go to ur illiterate president to stop coming to our territory to try in bribing my father cos He will always be a looser once you do that i will apologize.. Unfairly to do that then d country will remain a local underdeveloped and a zoo country indeed.

Fura: For calling us animals…You won’t apologise cos that’s the implication of zoo. It’s disrespectful and disregarding for the rest of us in the country and if you don’t want to it’s not okay.

Nuna: So intelligent and speak fluently.. I thought all Nigerians are illiterate…. I don’t like apologizing when am right or wrong besides all Nigerians are criminal… Not worthy enough to be a whole country… Nigeria z a country that should be recolonize for complete 200 years cos they knew nothing about leadership and self consciousness… All d citizens are vagabond… Please lady i can’t apologize cos your country z more than a zoo… Sorry u can remove me if you are not comfortable with Me…. Nadia Kanu z so important here in my country and your president seized him for no good reason…

Fura: You don’t accept when you are right or wrong? Too bad..You thought we were all illiterate too bad. We are all criminals, very rude to generalize. Saying all Canadians are wicked..how does it ring to the ear? You know we have heroes, who fought for our freedom and where conscious and weren’t full of themselves. All the citizens are vagabonds, I am a vagabond..when did I accept your friend request and didn’t filter you?

Nuna: If Canadian are wicked we would have accept d offer that your president has given to us to destroy bfrans once and for all but we didn’t… But if Nigerians where in that situation they will accept and destroy Canada… Greedy monsters all over Nigeria with ape president…. All i know that u are brilliant i like that but d fact z just d opposite u might be wicked also…. Cos u people don’t reason well…. How i wish Nigeria would accept for Britain to recolonize them again… Nigeria z not a Democratic country… Daz y UN award them as the third most corrupt country in the world.

Fura: Thank God you’re not a Yahoo boy, but you did confirm you’re a distraught’ Nigerian raising ruckus about Biafra…for a fake Asian Canadian you’re, you know too much about Nigeria ‘the zoo’ but yet wants it to be Biafra. And Biafra can never recolonize Nigeria (get your facts straightened out) the time has pass for that. They can only hope to be separated from Nigeria.

Finally I wish you all the best in your tour for Biafra, I see you really are a disgruntled person, wasting your time on Facebook, parading as CEO of Brisbane international airport, dream well as it’s too much of a dream to waste for nothing.
And by the way, CEO’s Email they rarely chat up strange people. So you’d plan well Next time for your intended ‘Brain washee’ who might not be this patient to give you the insult of your life.

Yours sincerely.