Two Underage Youngsters

For weeks I’ve been shouting and giving commands; heyy! come here! Kai! stop that! etc. My mouth is tired and I know this is not the end either. 

One thing you’ll repeat it 7 times 7. You’ll say don’t touch and that’s exactly what they’ll touch. You say leave that place and that’s exactly where you’ll find them, causing mishaps. They can’t be left on their own without constant checks.

I rush some of my meals because an underaged miss eats hers in less than one minute so she could come feast on mine. 

While apologizing for something wrong they’ve done, you need to be careful lest they’re somewhere causing anew havoc.

If I say stop making noise, they continue stopping at their will.

One minute they’re here, the next they’re there. If am not settling squabbles then I make sure my eyes do not wander from them. They simply can’t be left on their own. Their antics keep changing.

One is only a precocious 3 year old who needs a reason before carrying out instructions while still struggling to speak queens English and the other a feisty toddler scared of Shepherd (A German shepherd). It’s like their unintended purpose is for you to have headache? Or keep babbling.

At the end of the day they’re good kids or trying to be, that’s only what a nearby aunt wish for.

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Courtesy tainted with Arrogance

Mason had insisted that I finish at the Old nato bank while he proceeded to Fishers bank at the middle land junction 3 miles away as this would save time. This was distracting for me as I did not like to be out and about while prepping for my finals yet I was ready to give my up most mindfully. 

A salient disgruntled nod with a stenched sweat from the security guard welcomed me as I walked into the bank. The place was packed with all sorts of being, even young adults. While the staffs bankers rarely scouting the area but minding their paper work seeing how they could save time as more customers poured in.

I immediately picked a slip, cautiously filled in the required information and joined the line. 

Soonest, I got comfortable in my spot, I pulled out my phone and was reading my feeds. I was distracted from the incessant noise around me, occasionally raising my head to see my purse and slip were intact, feeling them wasn’t enough. I had to be careful, I wasn’t running just any errand but my high profile mom. Before long it was my turn, the cashier’s voice was characterized by resonance, typically out of norm.

I buzzed Mason, I was done, he enjoys the stillness of formal activities. So I didn’t call him.

I exited the bank for an unplanned waiting, unhurriedly bumping into a mister whom I unapologetically apologized to. Like a glorified statue I took my place standing under the tree waiting for Mason. 

Humming silently, not long after this fellow dressed on a jean with dishevelled hair walked up to me, I was immersed in my playlist to give him an undivided attention. Without a care, he said you were the lady who bumped into me previously, I looked up astonished by such air of arrogance. He thought wrong, if I was going to reply. Seemingly he noticed how uninterested I was, he was intended to have my attention. He introduce himself, as Hillary James an eye doctor. He didn’t mind rambling to me, so far I was the listener.

Courtesy was on loose, so I put my phone away, to hear him out. 

Hillary is on holiday, he loves exercise and food a lot. He’s familiar with the bank manager, he has a flair for fair women who can cook and he’s sure my level of unleashed demon is minimal.

Tersely, he asked the question I dreaded, “whom I was waiting for,” I offhandedly replied “someone.” He wasn’t satisfied by my answer, he wanted to hear more like an eligible answer. I was irritated, contemplating why a total stranger would outrageously ask me such questions. As if seeking the answer on my phone, I flipped it on-security guard approached him, the bank manager was around. Breath of fresh air forced its way out my lungs. 

Shallow Spirituality

#spirituality #relationships
When I was younger, I use to worry about being a saint. You see I grew up in a Christian home where at a tender age you’re to get involved with a society within the church and activities carried out was directed to how godly it was done? the intentions of doing them? did it enrich or offend others? So this did put an undeniably measure of spiritual sense in me, that I’d go as far as counting the number of sins I committed each day. Sometimes I’d become unnecessarily solemn because I didn’t want to be involved in rubbish talk, so I inadvertently avoided this small talks that would later on lead to gossip and confession afterwards. I didn’t want to miss being a saint.

Attending Catholic schools at lower levels, after morning mass I’d say my prayers to different saints with the sole intention of being like them. If I offended my neighbour (mates) I’d apologize to them saying the priest asked me to ask for forgiveness. Why doing this somewhat relieved me and kept my pride intact. I knew I wasn’t apologising because I wanted to but because someone asked me to. I didn’t want to miss being a saint.

****************

So far I understand, I was only tip toeing and not exactly living in the real sense as I had only muffled ideas to actual christian living. I’ve lost the zealous consciousness to be a saint not because it’s hard to attain but because I wasn’t communicating, I was avoiding communication in my comfort zone. Now I simply want to live being happy and help others feel comfortable around me and with themselves. If I fall short of the christian’s doctrine, my faith I understand it’s human frailty.
I see true spirituality as beyond my comprehension as it’s wrapped in genuine love to my neighbour as anything beyond is questionable.

Yours sincerely.

An Obscure view of a sad woman

Credits: Goggle photos/ Woman in shadows

She was different, It showed in the way she walked, unskirted like she owned the ground she walked on. Seeking perfection at what she did. 

She was different, as she manages to be everyones favourite, you could meet her and not hate her. Her reality was different from what she showed. She was the average woman, you know. Likeable personality indeed. Never pitiful.

To everyone, she was always happy, except to herself. She simply manages to live by.

She was different- life wasn’t a bed of roses. Yet she had made her view a sunflower with no thorns. Life was explicitly vague to her. She simply manages to live by.

She was different, as she is the shadowy character who existed in a happily ever after. She was likely not to be your next door neighbour.

She was different, still seen at her perfect imperfection. Even in her worst state, she simply manages to live by.

With love.

Monday motivation

Some years ago I had seen the beginning part of the movie friends with benefit, I wanted to watch the movie but the timing was off. It had Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis as main characters, more reason I enlisted it as a must watch I could have as well downloaded the movie to satisfy my curiosity but somehow I didn’t and so yesterday I finally watched the movie. 

Sometimes life is tiring. Bucket lists refusing somehow to be ticked off, well don’t loose hope it took me 4years to watch friends for benefit and I’m totally fine with it. It probably loooks too small a defeat to be noticed but guess what, it finally happened. This definitely gave me hope that some day my aspirations would breath life.

No matter how much discouraged you feel, do not stay too long in that emotion as there are still victories to be won and bucket lists to be outdated, which is only possible by you alone.

Challenge your self, get out there often and do not to wallow in self pity my friend, no matter how enticing it looks.

Yours sincerely.

UNASSUMING


Photo credits: Forbes women summit 2017
Does this word ring a bell? The first time I heard this word was five years ago, I’d gone to collect my lower level school statement of result in which the principal had written ‘good, quiet and unassuming’

My first reaction was SHOCK because I had never heard that word and immediately assumed it was a bad word considering the combination UN and ASSUMING. To me it simply meant I didn’t put in effort to be active while at school, I was frustrated she had described me as sort.

Later on I went home and found at the true meaning of the word and I have never been more surer in my life, of a perfect way to describe me if not UNASSUMING. It describes my personality in a not too shabby way and somehow I have tried to live in accordance with its meaning; not arrogant or presuming, simply modest.
I want to break free from clutches of any sort of descriptive stereotype as they’re salient restrictions to me involving more with my surroundings.
Maybe my principal’s intent was for me to look beyond what she wrote and search for a deeper purpose for myself than living unperturbed and modestly fine with everything when I know the society is changing everyday.
We shouldn’t be fine when fellow women are increasingly tortured everyday under the code of domestic violence, sexual abuse and harassment, intense Christian martyrdom and an influx of refugees and hunger in almost every state.

Somehow her unintended purpose for me was actually to engage better with my surrounding. I can’t say but I can speak for myself and never stop searching even in the deepest valley until I find myself and when I do there’ll always be that inner peace that surpasses all empty clanging noise.

Yours sincerely.

Free the Girl Child

#equality
The rising talk of equal rights does not dwindle it is on its endless journey knowing fully well that women were once girls. We actually can’t outgrow that persona either because we are still one at heart or we know one.

To buttress my point I’d give you an instance.

Years back while in primary school, a female teacher had called me out because my uniform was short. Her exact words to me were ‘who do you want to seduce for putting on such uniform to school’ and if I ever came to school in those, I’d see what she had do to me. If she meant flog me, punish me or better still send me home. I can not tell as all I know was the next time I came to school was in a new pair of uniform.

This kind of statements are made everyday to a growing girl child some where.
Sometimes motives with shallow intent are muffled in misconceptions of how women are to guide themselves in a godly manner, therefore losing the real essence of purposeful living.
We’re somewhat made to understand we owe our selves to the male gender. We’re told to safeguard their feelings so we do not arouse premature feelings. We’re told to be morally updated so no one is stared in the wrong direction.
Unequal list are made for women both by themselves and by all sundry without in turn calling out men to order. We should stop partial shadiness. People will never be comfortable with our dressing, is still in line with people will never be fine with our decisions and actions. Even if we feel good and we think we look good, it’s as if there’s something raunchy with our dressing. We are somewhat made to understand that our success lies in between the success of men.
Someone once told me the external being is a reflection of the inner being but I do know also that to judge a book by it’s cover is too misled oneself and there’s need for line to be drawn somewhere.

It is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie who said;

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller, you can have ambition but not to much, you should aim to be successful but not to successful otherwise you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage, am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important that marriage can be a success of joys, love and major support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage? And not teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments which I think can be a good thing but for the attention of men.
Because we look a certain way, should we be walked over? We all have masks from different places and we show different ones to different people.
We’re not sorry, our face sends messages and you’re picking up wrong vibes.

Cheers.