An Obscure view of a sad woman

Credits: Goggle photos/ Woman in shadows

She was different, It showed in the way she walked, unskirted like she owned the ground she walked on. Seeking perfection at what she did. 

She was different, as she manages to be everyones favourite, you could meet her and not hate her. Her reality was different from what she showed. She was the average woman, you know. Likeable personality indeed. Never pitiful.

To everyone, she was always happy, except to herself. She simply manages to live by.

She was different- life wasn’t a bed of roses. Yet she had made her view a sunflower with no thorns. Life was explicitly vague to her. She simply manages to live by.

She was different, as she is the shadowy character who existed in a happily ever after. She was likely not to be your next door neighbour.

She was different, still seen at her perfect imperfection. Even in her worst state, she simply manages to live by.

With love.

Monday motivation

Some years ago I had seen the beginning part of the movie friends with benefit, I wanted to watch the movie but the timing was off. It had Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis as main characters, more reason I enlisted it as a must watch I could have as well downloaded the movie to satisfy my curiosity but somehow I didn’t and so yesterday I finally watched the movie. 

Sometimes life is tiring. Bucket lists refusing somehow to be ticked off, well don’t loose hope it took me 4years to watch friends for benefit and I’m totally fine with it. It probably loooks too small a defeat to be noticed but guess what, it finally happened. This definitely gave me hope that some day my aspirations would breath life.

No matter how much discouraged you feel, do not stay too long in that emotion as there are still victories to be won and bucket lists to be outdated, which is only possible by you alone.

Challenge your self, get out there often and do not to wallow in self pity my friend, no matter how enticing it looks.

Yours sincerely.

UNASSUMING


Photo credits: Forbes women summit 2017
Does this word ring a bell? The first time I heard this word was five years ago, I’d gone to collect my lower level school statement of result in which the principal had written ‘good, quiet and unassuming’

My first reaction was SHOCK because I had never heard that word and immediately assumed it was a bad word considering the combination UN and ASSUMING. To me it simply meant I didn’t put in effort to be active while at school, I was frustrated she had described me as sort.

Later on I went home and found at the true meaning of the word and I have never been more surer in my life, of a perfect way to describe me if not UNASSUMING. It describes my personality in a not too shabby way and somehow I have tried to live in accordance with its meaning; not arrogant or presuming, simply modest.
I want to break free from clutches of any sort of descriptive stereotype as they’re salient restrictions to me involving more with my surroundings.
Maybe my principal’s intent was for me to look beyond what she wrote and search for a deeper purpose for myself than living unperturbed and modestly fine with everything when I know the society is changing everyday.
We shouldn’t be fine when fellow women are increasingly tortured everyday under the code of domestic violence, sexual abuse and harassment, intense Christian martyrdom and an influx of refugees and hunger in almost every state.

Somehow her unintended purpose for me was actually to engage better with my surrounding. I can’t say but I can speak for myself and never stop searching even in the deepest valley until I find myself and when I do there’ll always be that inner peace that surpasses all empty clanging noise.

Yours sincerely.

Free the Girl Child

#equality
The rising talk of equal rights does not dwindle it is on its endless journey knowing fully well that women were once girls. We actually can’t outgrow that persona either because we are still one at heart or we know one.

To buttress my point I’d give you an instance.

Years back while in primary school, a female teacher had called me out because my uniform was short. Her exact words to me were ‘who do you want to seduce for putting on such uniform to school’ and if I ever came to school in those, I’d see what she had do to me. If she meant flog me, punish me or better still send me home. I can not tell as all I know was the next time I came to school was in a new pair of uniform.

This kind of statements are made everyday to a growing girl child some where.
Sometimes motives with shallow intent are muffled in misconceptions of how women are to guide themselves in a godly manner, therefore losing the real essence of purposeful living.
We’re somewhat made to understand we owe our selves to the male gender. We’re told to safeguard their feelings so we do not arouse premature feelings. We’re told to be morally updated so no one is stared in the wrong direction.
Unequal list are made for women both by themselves and by all sundry without in turn calling out men to order. We should stop partial shadiness. People will never be comfortable with our dressing, is still in line with people will never be fine with our decisions and actions. Even if we feel good and we think we look good, it’s as if there’s something raunchy with our dressing. We are somewhat made to understand that our success lies in between the success of men.
Someone once told me the external being is a reflection of the inner being but I do know also that to judge a book by it’s cover is too misled oneself and there’s need for line to be drawn somewhere.

It is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie who said;

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller, you can have ambition but not to much, you should aim to be successful but not to successful otherwise you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage, am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important that marriage can be a success of joys, love and major support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage? And not teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments which I think can be a good thing but for the attention of men.
Because we look a certain way, should we be walked over? We all have masks from different places and we show different ones to different people.
We’re not sorry, our face sends messages and you’re picking up wrong vibes.

Cheers.

My Singing Oppressor

I’ve always believed true confidence is built over time from chasing your passion and discovering yourself to live purposely. As then onwards you’ll learn to be comfortable in your skin.

This was the notion I’d when I became a chorister. Even though singing doesn’t come easily to me, I still wanted to immerse myself in it as a blank slate. I knew onwards my flaws would be outlined in front of me at all times and I would have to work my way around not to focus on it. But what I didn’t sign up for was to be frequently talked down on not once but twice. I’ve heard rudely from this person reasons why I should’nt stand at the front while presenting as a group. Personally I’m fine with wherever I stand as women of esteem do not chase empty wind in living purposefully but to subconsciously pull me down because you think I’m not good enough is dampening.

You see Messages can be passed without bone of contention so I find it unnecessarily hostile to talk back, revenge, retaliate, plot or scheme against one but this has been lingering for long and somehow this person has turned the tables around that I feel guilty holding on to this rebuke. That each time, I was an obedient lamb who felt scorned later.

I’m angry at myself. Reason being why I’ll tell another fellow to approach this oppressor to open up or talk back as it would pass a message not to be taken for granted. I cannot do that for myself.

I simply walk away, tucked with bottled emotions seeking freedom and that my friend is my blocked wall.

Yours sincerely.

I’d really love to hear what passion of yours you are chasing but keep encountering blocked walls.

Writing My Haven

I have been on a forever break from posting my thoughts, at first I was naively elated to say the real reason then back it up with a self-rewarding clause ‘writing is fine but sharing my thought is VULNERABLE’.

So I told people I write but I’m on hiatus from posting .

But days turned to weeks and weeks to months.

I wouldn’t accept I was on my own swirl wind of writer’s block, my reading level had turned to a struggle, I thought the scrambled words I strung together in my notebook was enough to keep me afloat, I thought the Journal diary app would be helpfuI. Even the gratitude notes I put in my Jar of good tidings, I thought were enough to keep the memory refreshed. Nothing still. Yet I consoled myself with the thought of my haven as WRITING still fastened, anyhow was the way not to sink.

What a lie! Words became harder to depict my thoughts, a lot of empty spaces I’d filled in my head but my hands wouldn’t do the needful. I didn’t feel courageous enough to hang myself open, clearing my space to OUR space to accommodate STRANGERS.

While EFFORT is rewarding. Effort is somewhat consoling as it may not take us where we want to be but it sure can lead us into that path for tomorrow’s achievement. However, struggling to retain a part of my writer’s sensibility can get better or worse off as I want to be pragmatic.

Maybe as the days go by and I’ve rebuilt stronger resistance to people’s opinion, I would reconnect with my writing and post as I would without a care. Inwardly, making a commitment to always long for my haven WRITING no matter the times I experience writer’s block.

Yours sincerely.

 

If he Were to Judge me

How I never lived for myself, I wanted people to be impressed with me even though I knew not them and they knew not me in a way he alone knows.

He would tell me I gave you one live with a free will, I wanted you to take cognisance of others, take heed to what you heard but not to heart and take caution not to live their wills.

I don’t think he would say why didn’t you take that will to live on your on terms and be happy soaring like an eagle? Because he knew, that I understand, what it means to impress and stiffle myself. Because  I knew somehow where I’d wrong myself in not finding genuine happiness and joy in my quiet battles.

He said to me I filled you with life that I wanted you to wear each day the armour of faith and love. Bearing in mind, the hope of salvation but you took half of it, the other half empty, you threw away.

You wanted to listen to people’s voices, you drowned mine and didn’t listen to your own voice!

How would you learn, I wondered to myself. No risks? No scare? Nothing…you wanted shield!

Yours sincerely.

A fake Caucasian Mongolian who needs to wash his brain

A Caucasian recently struck up a conversation with me, using a Mongolian name. Mind you, he’s not the average ‘foreigner you know’. He’s well dressed with slick permed hair.
So there’s nothing for you to malign him with his impudent personality (which means not all dressed men can carry out a formidable conversation, you’re forewarned)

I knew him from no where. More of the reasons, he would go down the drain in no matter of time. He didn’t know the ethics of conversation. He was garnering listeners for what he thought he knew.
Very daft of him, parading with a phoney tale. Very cheap lad (They never stop amazing me).
He sure is one of my ignorant Biafran brothers who miss road. Psychos prowling every where.

This was extracted from our conversation. We both go by Nuna (him) and Fura (myself)
Which has been edited not to bore you. I did try.

Nuna: What ethical group do you belong in Nigeria

Fura: Igbo…seems you’re conversant with Nigeria
Nuna: Am not conversant to that zoo country z just that my father z only a friend to one Mr Nadia Kanu in Nigeria

Nuna: You called my country a zoo. That is insulting…and your father being a friend to him is correlative ‘they are both friends to each other’ not your father showing him favor

Nuna: Nothing just prefer to use a different name to locate a female Nigeria who ran away with my 10 dollar
Fura: Nigeria is not a zoo…so apologise for that
Secondly Facebook is large and so is Nigeria….Have a bigger heart and let go because you won’t be finding her anytime soon.

Nuna: don’t think like that….. But calling your country a zoo z a good name for that

Fura: you have to apologise for that.

Nuna: I will apologize but first of all you have to go to ur illiterate president to stop coming to our territory to try in bribing my father cos He will always be a looser once you do that i will apologize.. Unfairly to do that then d country will remain a local underdeveloped and a zoo country indeed.

Fura: For calling us animals…You won’t apologise cos that’s the implication of zoo. It’s disrespectful and disregarding for the rest of us in the country and if you don’t want to it’s not okay.

Nuna: So intelligent and speak fluently.. I thought all Nigerians are illiterate…. I don’t like apologizing when am right or wrong besides all Nigerians are criminal… Not worthy enough to be a whole country… Nigeria z a country that should be recolonize for complete 200 years cos they knew nothing about leadership and self consciousness… All d citizens are vagabond… Please lady i can’t apologize cos your country z more than a zoo… Sorry u can remove me if you are not comfortable with Me…. Nadia Kanu z so important here in my country and your president seized him for no good reason…

Fura: You don’t accept when you are right or wrong? Too bad..You thought we were all illiterate too bad. We are all criminals, very rude to generalize. Saying all Canadians are wicked..how does it ring to the ear? You know we have heroes, who fought for our freedom and where conscious and weren’t full of themselves. All the citizens are vagabonds, I am a vagabond..when did I accept your friend request and didn’t filter you?

Nuna: If Canadian are wicked we would have accept d offer that your president has given to us to destroy bfrans once and for all but we didn’t… But if Nigerians where in that situation they will accept and destroy Canada… Greedy monsters all over Nigeria with ape president…. All i know that u are brilliant i like that but d fact z just d opposite u might be wicked also…. Cos u people don’t reason well…. How i wish Nigeria would accept for Britain to recolonize them again… Nigeria z not a Democratic country… Daz y UN award them as the third most corrupt country in the world.

Fura: Thank God you’re not a Yahoo boy, but you did confirm you’re a distraught’ Nigerian raising ruckus about Biafra…for a fake Asian Canadian you’re, you know too much about Nigeria ‘the zoo’ but yet wants it to be Biafra. And Biafra can never recolonize Nigeria (get your facts straightened out) the time has pass for that. They can only hope to be separated from Nigeria.

Finally I wish you all the best in your tour for Biafra, I see you really are a disgruntled person, wasting your time on Facebook, parading as CEO of Brisbane international airport, dream well as it’s too much of a dream to waste for nothing.
And by the way, CEO’s Email they rarely chat up strange people. So you’d plan well Next time for your intended ‘Brain washee’ who might not be this patient to give you the insult of your life.

Yours sincerely.

We Are Here

I heard this song on T.v and it stuck to me like black and white ( my favourite colours) does.
This song is deeper than it reveals, as it’s a call and reminder to love, peace and unity.

With so much hate in the world right now, I believe we feel there is less good, enough to go round for every one, so many people have lost their lives, families, homes and jobs.

And so many others, have lost hope and are living like they care less, if anything worst can shake them from their dreams.
And am here to assure us all, how true it’s not, that there is still enough good to go round for every one.

They want us to send hate message and fall flat to chagrin and anger, but that’s not us
Because we understand that even if we do, we’ll still get up and continue and rise beyond our horizon, that’s what makes us different from them.


Here is the soothing lyrics from Alicia keys song:


“We Are Here”

We are here
We are here for all of us
We are here for all of us
That’s why we are here, why we are here
We are here

Bombs over Baghdad, tryna get something we ain’t never had
Let’s start with a good dad
So real but it’s so sad
And while we burnin’ this incense, we gon’ pray for the innocent
Cause right now it don’t make sense
Right now it don’t make sense
Let’s talk about Chi town
Let’s talk about Gaza
Let’s talk about, let’s talk about Israel
Cause right now it is real
Let’s talk about, let’s talk Nigeria
In a mass hysteria, yeah
Our souls are brought together so that we could love each other
Brother,

We are here
We are here for all of us
We are here for all of us
That’s why we are here, why we are here
We are here

No guns made in Harlem, but yet crime is a problem
He wanna shine, they wanna rob him
Single mother, where they come from?
How we gonna save the nation, with no support for education
Cause right now it don’t make sense
Right now it don’t make sense
Let’s talk about our part
My heart touch your heart
Let’s talk about, let’s talk about living
Had enough of dying, not what we all about
Let’s do more giving
Do more forgiving, yeah
Our souls were brought together so that we could love each other
Sister,

We are here
We are here for all of us
We are here for all of us
That’s why we are here, why we are here
We are here
We are here for all of us
We are here for all of us
That’s why we are here, why we are here
We are here
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Oh, oh

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, oh

We are here (oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh)
We are here for all of us (oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh)
(oh, oh)
We are here for all of us (oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh)
(oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh)
that’s why we are here, why we are here (oh, oh)

Cause we are here
We are here for all of us
We are here for all of us
That’s why we are here, why we are here
We are, here
We are here for all of us
We are here for all of us
That’s why we are here,
Why we are here

 Cheers,
Ebere

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ANOMALY 101 – STUDENT VERSUS LECTURER COMBAT

In my time on earth, I’ve come to conclusion about certain things.  Whether they seem conventional, westernized or old-fashioned, I don’t mind anymore as they still remain my views.

   One of this is my perception on an undergraduate and a lecturer engaged in any sort of combat. For me, it epitomises impudency on both alpha male pack. I believe such combat; physical or mental arises from ignorance, on both parties. As whatever induces it, I believe does not warrant any form of  heat.

    In almost all cases, since the lecturer has an  upper hand, there is a tendency to maximize it well, by melting fairly undue punishment to the student, and in some cases, threaten the student with malice induced talks such as ‘you will not graduate in due time’, or ‘ you willl fail my course’ or ‘ we will see’ . The worst cases are that of those who silently invoke the wrath of their fellow colleagues against such student. 
  
As its not accepted in the temperate region, it can not be acceptable here. In fact, more or less, for me, the lecturer and student ought to be punished by the ethics committee where findings establish a combat.
     Let me illustrate my point with a recap of  an anecdote, bearing in mind, that, this is one of many combats that occur daily in the Nigerian  Ivory towers. We were in for an early exam paper, when a male student and lecturer got into an argument.  From a distant, it looked as though the lecturer was making efforts to unwrap his belt, and while I struggled to understand why? he violently dragged the lad and ripped his shirt.

  Chaos broke out with  students shouting blue murder and lecturers working as co-invigilators  quickly reached the conclusion that the lad was disrespectful. Following investigations, the  so called student was discovered to be a mercenary (meaning: A paid student personator) for Exam purposes. You see, this student knew it was against the University’s examination code of conduct to sit an exam for another and yet took the stress of  carrying out his carefully- laid-plans.

This goes to show the level of integrity in youths and reduced ethical standards with each passing day. On the side of lecturers, yours sincerely thinks that there is need for a cohesive and matured form of handling issues with student in such a way that conflict is properly managed and negative pictures are  kept far off.
As for young people in institutions of learning, it is my honest opinion that this issue of non adherence to institutionalized codes of conduct definitely calls for attention from government, so that  higher Institutions are used for not only educational purpose, but also as value re- orientation grounds.

Cheers,
Ebere.

P.s.  Am sorry as this post is long due, as it’s not fictional. I will do better in the future.
As always would love to hear your feedback and thoughts.
Using the comment section below.